How to take over China

I figured out how to take over China. It really won't be that hard. I'm not sure why the Mongols weren't successful. Here is the solution: Toast.

You think I may be kidding, but I think it would work. Let's give every person in China a toaster with a loaf of bread and just wait to see what happens. I get my evidence from the Chinese students I'm living with. In our common room we have a toaster. It just sat that unloved for the longest time. Then I decided that I could use it for breakfast. And then it began. The Chinese students saw what this amazing machine could do and they went nuts. Our floor constantly smells of something burning or being cooked. We go through at least a loaf a day as they can't get enough of its golden deliciousness.

At the same time, however, we've taught them how to defeat us: chwanr. It's pretty much meat on a stick. But it is seasoned and delicious and can be delivered at 1 AM, thus it is glorious. If they came over and offered Americans a lifetime supply, which wouldn't cast too much as its between 1-4 RMB per stick depending on the type of meat (5 to 50 cents), they would easily be granted access to anything they wanted in America. And we could all get fat on delicious roasted lamb and chicken. Mmmmm, chwanr.